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Where have you been?

March 6, 2018

Wow! My last post was so long ago. I went M.I.A. for a good reason though. A year ago I found out I was pregnant. It was a total shock...a good shock, but a shock nonetheless.

We had been wanting to have a baby but after a few months of trying we sort of just let go of the idea and decided just to continue living life and if it happens it happens.

Well it happened... 

After noticing I was a few days late for my period (that never happens) I remember I had an extra pregnancy test under the bathroom sink. I peed on it and remember waiting thinking "I'm such a freak, I can't be pregnant." It felt like the wait was forever and I heard William getting ready for work . I looked at the results about a hundred times wondering if I was seeing things and then I went out and said "uhh Will, I think I'm pregnant!" He looked at the test and looked at me and said "Oh god, are you? Should I Call out." I laughed and said No and that we would talk about it later. I work at a hospital and purchashed about 3 more tests. All of them coming back with the same results...I was actually freaking pregnant! As excitement kicked in, so did anxiety, fears, regret as well. You see, we talked about being ready for a baby but when it happens you really are like "Oh Shit! Am i really ready?!" that was me for sure. 

Pregnancy was not good to me at all. I had every horrible symptom you could have. vomiting, diarrhea, vision loss, passing out , bloody noses, anemia, and severe migraines. It was not fun at all for me, but i knew what the outcome would be. I'd have an addition to our family that would be a little miniature one of us.

As the months continued on, I got a little more used to feeling shitty and knew there would be a finish line. During these months we both decided one child was enough for us. We wouldn't be adding to our family. I knew at this point pregnancy was not for me. I'm glad i did it, but i would never do it again.

When we found out we were having a boy, it did really change everything for me. I was ecstatic, I thought I always wanted a little girl, but somehow I knew it was destiny that I was supposed to be a boy mom. I still couldn't believe in a few short months I'd be a mother. As the countdown was winding down from months to weeks and then weeks to days I was so ready. I was so ready for him to be out, for me to not be pregnant anymore...

Well I had two due dates one doctor told me December 21st and one December 26th. Well he was born on December 30th, 2017 at 1:23pm. He was perfect. My labor story will be for another entry when I am ready to relive it. He is 2 months old and perfect. I'ts been a surreal past year and I'm glad i could share it with you all. 

I promise to post more now that I am getting more used to this new crazy life.

 

-B

 

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