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10 Years

September 1st will mark 10 years without my older brother. You know I feel like I talk about him a lot, he was such a big part of my life. Losing a sibling is rarely talked about, everyone tells you to "take care of your parents" and yes us surviving children should but, who takes care of us?

When my brother was killed a part of my past, present and future was taken away from me. When i talk about stories that involved just me and him how do i know if i'm telling it correctly if i don't have his version. My son will never know his uncle and how completely unbelievably amazing he was. I will never know the kids he would have had, the woman he I will forever have a scar, that once was a hole that was recently filled with the love of my son. I know my brother had a say in this kids personality. I looked at my son the other day and he gave me this look that reminded me so much of my brother. I just cried and grabbed him and held him close to me. I felt so at peace during that embrace.

I know that was another sign from my brother. He has given me a few signs these past 10 years that really do make me realize he is still around me. I know I'll always wish there was a way to just have him back, even just a few seconds,. I know that's not possible, so I will just keep his spirit alive through the stories i remember, the home videos I have and memories that will never fade. I love you brother...Til we meet again.